Current Read: Lost At School by Dr Ross W. Greene…

“When the ‘kids do well if they want to’ philosophy is applied to a child who’s not doing well, then we believe that the reason he’s not doing well is because he doesn’t want to. This very common assumption is usually wrong and causes adults to believe that their primary role in the life of a challenging kid (and the goal of intervention) is to make the kid want to do well. This is typically accomplished by motivating the kid, by giving him the incentive to do well, by rewarding him when he behaves in an adaptive fashion and punishing him when he behaves in a maladaptive fashion. By contrast, the ‘kids do well if they can’ philosophy carries the assumption that if a kid could do well he would do well. Doing well is always preferable to not doing well, but only if a kid has the skills to do well in the first place. If a kid isn’t doing well, he must be lacking the skills. What’s the most important role an adult can play in the life of such kid? First, assume he’s already motivated, already knows right from wrong, and has already been punished enough. Then, figure out what skills he’s lacking so you have the clearest possible understanding of what’s getting in his way. Understanding why a kid is challenging is the first and most important part of helping him. This can be a radical philosophical shift for a lot of people.” .

“When the ‘kids do well if they want to’ philosophy is applied to a child who’s not doing well, then we believe that the reason he’s not doing well is because he doesn’t want to. This very common assumption is usually wrong and causes adults to believe that their primary role in the life of a challenging kid (and the goal of intervention) is to make the kid want to do well. This is typically accomplished by motivating the kid, by giving him the incentive to do well, by rewarding him when he behaves in an adaptive fashion and punishing him when he behaves in a maladaptive fashion. By contrast, the ‘kids do well if they can’ philosophy carries the assumption that if a kid could do well he would do well. Doing well is always preferable to not doing well, but only if a kid has the skills to do well in the first place. If a kid isn’t doing well, he must be lacking the skills. What’s the most important role an adult can play in the life of such kid? First, assume he’s already motivated, already knows right from wrong, and has already been punished enough. Then, figure out what skills he’s lacking so you have the clearest possible understanding of what’s getting in his way. Understanding why a kid is challenging is the first and most important part of helping him. This can be a radical philosophical shift for a lot of people.”

“Consequences are wonderful when they work. They are less wonderful when they don’t work. And they often don’t work for the kids to whom they are most frequently applied. That’s because there are really only two goals imposed consequences help us achieve: (1) teaching kids basic lessons about right and wrong ways to behave, and (2) giving kids incentive to behave the right way. But—and this is important—the vast majority of challenging kids already know how we want them to behave…most challenging kids already want to behave the right way. They don’t need us to continue giving them stickers, depriving them of recess, or suspending them from school; they’re already motivated.”

Words of wisdom from my #currentread : Lost at School by one of my favorite parenting book authors: Ross W. Greene 🙌🏼

Another simple Ganesh craft…

A simple and very imperfect project that I finished only yesterday…I used the perler bead Ganeshas that we made recently, and glued them onto an old, repurposed canvas. Honestly, after I was done with this, I found a thousand things that didn’t work out the way I wanted them to. I still cringe a bit when I look at it. I made a ton of mistakes on this one, and those mistakes were all I could see for some time. I didn’t want to show this to anyone, let alone post it here. But then, I remembered how I felt when I heard my daughter indulge herself in this kind of self criticism about her creative projects, where as all I saw in her work was her effort and her joy as she worked on it. I decided to practice what I preach to her. I decided to try and celebrate my own effort and my own joy that I experienced while I worked on this. So, it’s not perfect but it’s mine, and I am choosing to be brave.

The words I wrote here are an ancient Sanskrit prayer that I learned as a child. I taught this one to my daughter when she was younger. And I am teaching it to my boys now. Not because I am very religious (which I am not), but because I love Sanskrit as a language. It’s ancient and it’s a beautiful language. I particularly love how this prayer sounds when it is sung in the proper rhythm.

“Vakratunda Mahakaya Suryakoti Samaprabha. Nirvghnam Kurume Deva Sarva Karyeshu Sarvada” — I won’t try to translate this here, but at a very high level, this song is a salutation to Lord Ganesha, believed to be the remover of all obstacles, asking him to shower his blessings and remove all obstacles. It is sung particularly before embarking on a big journey in life. .

Hummingbird by Nicola Davies…

Really enjoying reading this beautiful picture book with gorgeous illustrations and fascinating facts related to the migration of Hummingbirds from Central America to North America, to my 5 year olds. I am copying the the synopsis below. Swipe over to see a few inside pictures of the book. Absolutely love these illustrations 💕 .

“Follow a tiny hummingbird on its journey from Central America to Central Park in a captivating tale with exquisite illustrations echoing the creature’s jeweled tones.

Tz’unun! Tz’unun! A buzz of wings, a flash of color . . . There’s a very special visitor in Granny’s garden. It’s a hummingbird! And it’s just about to begin its long migration, heading north to its nesting ground. Watch as it spreads joy to all who encounter it along its two-thousand-mile trek. In an engaging text sprinkled with facts, zoologist Nicola Davies introduces readers to this valiant bird, lighter than a nickel, while Jane Ray’s lush, intricate illustrations, accented in gold Pantone, highlight its jewel-like beauty. More details about hummingbirds, along with a bibliography and an index, are available at the end to budding ornithologists.”