On Practicing Self Discipline as a Parent…

Reposting @resilient_kiddie ‘s post….thank you for such an insightful post 🙏🏼 .

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This is the truth! We cannot teach self-discipline to our children unless we practice it ourselves. It is a very hard thing to do and I admit I struggle with it all the time, but one gift I will give my children is to never give up and always keep working on putting a better version of myself out there for them to follow. .

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Many parents feel embarrassed when their kids misbehave in public. They feel like they need to take charge and control such behavior immediately. They feel insulted and shamed for their parenting abilities because there is this popular notion ingrained into most of us that as parents, we need to be able to control our children’s bad behavior immediately. And this causes many parents to react in an unhealthy and disrespectful manner. I can understand all of this because I used to feel the same way before. I have learned now that there are no shortcuts to raising well-rounded and conscientious children. It IS hard work. You would have to endure feelings of inadequacy about your own parenting abilities, feelings of being judged by strangers, etc. You would have to fight your own demons, your own conditioned mind, to raise above them for the greater good of your children. But, in that process, you will also free yourself from your own conditioned thinking patterns. You will lift yourself up and thus lift your children too. .

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I am not saying that bad behaviors should be tolerated. They absolutely need to be corrected. Children behave poorly when they are overwhelmed by emotions. They lack the skills that are needed to control their reactions under such circumstances. The best way to teach them these skills is by controlling our own reactions to their poor behaviors, by providing the love and connection they seem to need in such moments, and then circling back to that situation later when everybody is calmer to be able to teach (parent) and to learn (child). .

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There are no short cuts to good parenting. It IS hard work! But, it is worth the effort for our own well-being, for our children’s well-being, and for our society and humanity’s well-being 🙏🏼

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