Guilt is a fact of life for many moms, including myself. I agree with what Brene Brown said about guilt. I have become pro-guilt too these days. I have learned through my own experiences that guilt has a purpose. And that purpose is to alert us when there is a disconnect between our internal values and our practiced values. Guilt requires self reflection to bridge this gap and reach a permanent resolution. .
This self reflection may sometimes lead to tossing away an outdated internal value to make room for a new value. This may take a while and need a lot of motivation. I have experienced this in my life. It’s a painful process but with a beautiful end result. Some other times, guilt may lead to reemphasizing an old internal value and help us align it better with our practiced values. This can fill us with purpose and propel us towards taking positive action. I have experienced this recently and it was wonderful. Guilt is not an utterly useless feeling that needs to be brushed off and snapped out of immediately, as it is commonly portrayed. It does have its own purpose. .
But, guilt minus self reflection can become a burden that we lug around with us everywhere. This burden will create an internal imbalance which will affect our children more than anyone else we interact with in our daily lives because children lack the skills that they need to protect themselves from such negativity. So, next time my old companion ‘guilt’ visits me, I have decided to acknowledge it, to sit with it for a bit and understand what the purpose is behind its visit, instead of trying to push it down, ignore it and talk myself into focusing on the future not the past, which is what I have unknowingly been doing so far.