What a resourceful book, especially for parents with young children! I read Whole Brain Child written by the same authors a while ago and it inspired me in many ways. I needed a reinforcement of my own discipline philosophy which is why I recently picked up this book and ‘Out Of Control’ by Dr Tsabary. Both awesome reads for parents committed to conscious parenting. While Dr Tsabary takes a more spiritual approach in presenting her arguments, the authors of this book take a more scientific approach.
The basic premise is that our brains have different regions – upstairs, downstairs, right hemisphere and left hemisphere. All these regions need to be integrated well for an individual to be capable of making rational decisions. In children, whose brains are ever changing, these areas are not fully developed and neither are they fully integrated. It is a parent’s job to help them integrate all these areas via those random teaching moments that occur in daily lives. So, when a child misbehaves, instead of blindly reacting to the child’s misbehavior, which is equivalent to the parent using their own downstairs/reactive/reptilian brain that is utterly incapable of higher thinking, the authors encourage the parent to take a few moments to give a chance for their own upstairs brain to fire up and then seize the opportunity to teach the child to integrate the various parts of their brain that would help them make better choices in the long run. There are various practical techniques and insights presented via examples throughout the book to help parents accomplish this. The important point to note is the first step with discipline is always to connect with the child. This is even more important with a child who misbehaves.
Last but not the least, the authors use a term called mindsight, which is empathy plus insight, through out the book. I read about this concept for the first time in ‘The Whole Brain Child’ (also an amazing read) and I am fascinated by it. The authors of this book wrote another book titled ‘Mindsight’, which is dedicated to explaining mindsight in depth, which I intend to read hopefully soon. Basically, the argument is that a parent can help their child develop mindsight into life’s situations via their disciplining philosophy. This mindsight then becomes a powerful tool in the child’s toolbox as they grow into adults and encounter more challenging situations. The world really needs more people with a fully developed mindsight if you ask me.
Overall, this is a very well thought out, well written and resourceful book to all parents, more so for those with young children. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️